I spent the day in bed with Balzar and my two other gifts from Mother flittering around the window. Two dragons Browen and Bower, who were still getting used to their new home. Dragons were once the steeds of the Fae, about the size of a small Crow. Glorian and I were the first of our size. Fierce creatures despite their size Dragons were. Now this is where the telling of these memories gets hard, but I must do it, you need to know. Even after all these years it hurts me to tell it, so I will tell it quickly.

Glorian had left, my life was a constant panicked rush of activity. Time passed quickly, I didn’t have time to mourn the loss of Glorian in my life. I didn’t see him again until I fell ill. I was in Havernish Village closest to the castle. I had been spending one day a week with the townsfolk, hearing ideas, complaints, request. I had left the blacksmiths stall when everything went black. I woke in Glorian’s arms, him carrying me through the market. I didnt speak, I was so happy to be in his arms it mattered not what was wrong with me. Glorian was very worried, he carried me all the way home, mumbling, we had never been ill, was someone trying to kill me, so forth and so on. I wasn’t paying attention, I was trying to take note of everything about him. I had to make sure I remembered, for surely he would leave me again.

How embarrassing it was, I the Queen, being carried like a babe into my hall. No, I lie, I wasnt bothered by it then, I had Glorian, that’s all that mattered. We rushed to my chamber, Glorian laying me on my bed as if I might break. Mother gliding in, Father leading Glorian out. It was all so fast, eveything was always happening so fast. Oh but I remmebr this as if it it all took place today.

Mother insisted on checking me for injury, she stroked my face, and a dazzling smile spread across hers. I love that moment, Mother was so very beautiful, always. “Life lives in you” she whispered. “Well Mother you can see Im not dead” I said exhausted. “No, she giggled. “Here” and placed my hand low on my stomach. I sat up and stared at her like she was mad. Then the room began to quake, thunder roared from the sky, Father had been eavesdropping.

He burst into the room, wanting to know who had soiled his precious daughter. I remember Mother soothing him, I remember Mother telling him “The Bairn be Glorian’s, kill not your son my love, our daughter will be fine”. Fine I thought, how could I be fine! I started begging them and then demanding, they must not tell Glorian.

Thats how we were when Ash arrived. Mother insisted he gather workers and build a cottage where I could get away from the castle to rest if need, somewhere close to Merctalon Keep. He sat with me as they left, and I told him about my illness. Of course it was he, who told Glorian. When I dozed off, Ash went and threatened him, I later learned.

I woke around dinner time. I could hear Balzar snoring at my feet. I opened my eyes to find Glorian sitting in a chair gazing into the fire someone had started in the hearth. How much I loved him in that moment. His elbows on his knees, his fingers playing with a piece of twine. His ebony hair was pulled back, I wished it was loose so I could see the way the ends curled at the bottom of his waves, like the twirling waters at the edge of the sea. He was lost in deep thought,I could glimpse his eyes burning amber in the fire light. I could stare at him like this forever. I wondered to myself when I had begun to love him so, as a man, not just my life long playmate.

He sensed I was awake, and turned to look at me. He looked at me like he was trying to figure out the same thing I was. I sat up but he didnt move to come to me. I was afraid he was angry, I asked. No he shook his head, and let out a huge breathe. I didn’t like the way he did that, squaring his shoulders and turning from me.

“I’m to be married, I was passing through after seeing Father, Mother Willow, and Father Oak when I saw you fall” he said softly letting his head drop into his hands. ” She is quite wonderful, my Zara, you will love her I’m sure, you love everyone” he said. I just sat there not knowing what to say, how to feel, but I was Queen, I had to be strong. “I’m with child, your child” I said not half as Queenly as I’d planned. “I know, and I love you even more for it. No one will ever come between us, they can not, do not fear, do you doubt my love for you” He said standing to walk towards the door. “No” I cried, “Please, Glorian don’t leave me” I begged. “Never” was all he said as he walked out again.